Six Degrees of Compassion: US Law Enforcement

1.  We need to demilitarize our police departments and provide training and an environment for them within the communities to, once again, become peace officers.

2.  All need to wear video cameras, for their protection as well as the citizens.

3.  The use of lethal force is out of control. Officers desperately need more training in non-lethal measures.

4.  Racism and various forms of bigotry need to be dealt with in an honest way, in safe environments, rather than seething beneath the surface, erupting in deadly ways. It needs to be acknowledged as being part of our systems, infecting all institutions. It's everywhere.

5.  How about dealing with the over-weaponization of citizens so the police don't feel they're constantly in mortal danger...even when they aren't? Follow the money trail. The NRA and weapon manufacturers benefit from this battle on the streets of the US.

6.  How about a simple first step of encouraging officers to remember that the citizens they are policing are fellow human beings? Sometimes officers are faced with people actively engaged in violent crimes, but most often they aren't...they prejudge for many reasons and the results are deadly, given the current environment and mindset of the system of law enforcement.




PRACTICAL COMPASSION | Sharing thoughts, ideas, and visions of a more compassionate, collaborative, joy-filled world.

Hey, White People with White Kids...

(For more information about the above image, click here)

UPDATED: 8/24/14

(Adapted from a Facebook post. I'm a white female, by the way.)

Is the title of this blog inflammatory? I don't think so. I believe true change comes from within and thus racism must be acknowledged and addressed by white people, by whom and for whom the vast majority of our systems and institutions were created, providing an advantage -- or at the very least not having a disadvantage -- based on the color of one's skin. This includes the growing numbers of white Americans living in poverty.

I'm especially talking to those of you predisposed to see young men like Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown as thugs. (I doubt you're even aware of the many other young black people killed nearly weekly, unarmed and committing no crime whatsoever, because the shooter felt threatened due to the color of their skin or made deadly assumptions about them.)

Neither of those young men had a police record or "rap sheet," in spite of what is floating around the cesspool that is often the internet.

There is no evidence whatsoever that Trayvon was committing a crime at the time of Zimmerman stalking and then ultimately shooting him. None.

Michael may or may not have committed a crime just before the encounter with Officer Darren Wilson.

Let's say he did. And let's say he absolutely unnecessarily and even thuggishly shoved that store clerk, for no good reason whatsoever. Let's say he behaved horribly, even though there has been no definitive connection between the incident at the store and his death at the hands of Officer Darren Wilson.

What if it were your child?

I know some of you from youth...and I know some of you shoplifted and committed petty crimes. Maybe some of your kids have done the same, at that same age. Doesn't make it right...I'm not defending any criminality. Just pointing out that a lot of things are done by people at that age that they're not proud of; they may or may not have gotten caught and suffered the consequences. Some of you didn't get caught, but you did the crime nevertheless.

But let's say your child, even a large male child, just committed the crime of stealing something from the corner store, not armed.

All you know and all you care about is that your child is lying in the middle of a fairly quiet street for hours. Dead. Shot AT LEAST SIX TIMES. You are forced to stay outside the police tape line, and don't see anyone attempting to resuscitate your child or even take his pulse.

What if this occurred in an environment in which local law enforcement has been known, for decades, to target and harass people who look like your son? So there is the added layer of a generational history of anger and mistrust and fear involved, built in to your personal tragedy.

Given the details, or lack thereof, and the sequence of events of how law enforcement has handled this shooting, wouldn't you feel you're losing your mind?

The outside events swirling around the death of your child don't matter. People are protesting and a small faction of criminals are being opportunistic, wreaking havoc by looting and stealing and behaving like horrible human beings even though they are NOT representative of the people in your community nor a reflection of your child.  (Click here to learn, as I have recently, about the straw man of "outside agitators).

That all matters not.


Your child is dead, at someone else's hands. And you don't know precisely how or why, and you're not getting answers.

The investigation is FUBAR. All efforts seem geared toward portraying your child as a white thug or distracting from your child altogether, and you know there are millions of people saying that because your child may have stolen something from the corner store, he's a thug. He's nothing else...he's simply a thug now, of no value.

Your child is like most kids: not an angel, not a devil. A human being. In this social media age, there may be images of them flashing the middle finger or vines using profanity or singing offensive lyrics or any number of things -- many of which, I might add, I see adults doing as well. It's interesting how the media chooses the images and stories which least represent your child and try to take away their humanity...and then strangers believe it and pile on. Even worse, they use pictures that aren't even of your child to try to dehumanize him. All of these horrible, horrible words and lies and even mistaken images are now on the Internet, forever. 

The officer who shot your son -- there is no question who shot your child -- wasn't even identified in the media for nearly a week. It appears the blue line was put into place quickly, deflecting to cast all blame on your child.

What if people were raising money to support the person who shot your child, without all the details having been revealed?

You would want attention given to this because you don't trust the authorities. I know I would scream to the high heavens, wanting answers, and justice. Wouldn't you?

Chances are if this happened to your white child, strangers who heard about the event wouldn't respond by demonizing your boy, and simultaneously demonizing all white people. (Chances are if this horrible travesty happened to your white child it wouldn't have garnered a lot media attention, because it's not a pattern in this country. The excessive force cases that I've seen, which involve white teens and young adults, are fairly expeditiously processed and the officers or private citizens charged and brought to trial. But if such an event happens to any child and justice doesn't seem to be served, I would hope we would all rise up, trying to put ourselves in the place of the parents and the community.)

How would you feel? Can you even attempt to have compassion and empathize?

I can't imagine...and thank God I can't. Thankfully I don't have the daily worry that because of the color of my child's skin she may be seen as a threat and a target. There are so many things we parents worry about already. What a relief to not have THAT particular worry. What a privilege. No one should have such a worry.

But that is not the reality of non-white parents. Or white parents with children who don't have white skin.

I've nearly lost my mind by witnessing these tragedies for decades and observing the absolutely hateful, vile, ignorant, dangerous responses to such events.

It's a deadly disease, racism, and we all need to acknowledge it, and work to prevent it and heal it. You can act like it isn't your problem, that it's all about "those people," but you really can't shield yourself from it. It's everywhere...it's systemic, it's institutionalized. For the sake of all you hold dear, please don't add to this disease and spread it. You never know how it may infect or affect someone you love, leading them to inflict harm upon other human beings.

What if it were your child?

PRACTICAL COMPASSION | Sharing thoughts, ideas, and visions of a more compassionate, collaborative, joy-filled world.

My One, Personal Absolute Truth

Watching the video by Matthew Vines (see below) regarding The Bible and homosexuality prompted this blog post. I share in order to document my own views and beliefs in a comprehensive way, more than I have ever done before, which is helpful for me in my ongoing quest to know myself as fully as possible. I also share in case my journey is of value to anyone else, and for insight into the foundation of my work.  

I recognize and appreciate great wisdom in religions and sacred texts, and respect that they can be a source of truth for others. I, however, do not view them as the ultimate, absolute truth or The Word in their totality given the various interpretations, translations, etc. Even if the Bible -- or any sacred text -- DID clearly condemn same-sex loving relationships, I wouldn't care. It would not form my opinion about the matter. (For those who don't know me personally, I most certainly advocate for equality -- all equality -- including marriage equality.)

The only Absolute Truth that resonates with me, personally, is this:

We are all interconnected; what is done to one is done to all.

It's not something I can prove, but it is what I choose to believe. Maybe that's what "truth" is:  A belief or concept or personal knowing based on experience, even if it can't be proven to others, which is so powerful that it becomes a personal truth? It feels right intuitively, intellectually, and based on my life experience thus far, including powerful experiences in my youth. I don't feel this belief and way of being causes any harm, to anyone or anything. (Note that quantum physics has placed this discussion at the fore from a scientific perspective.)

To me, this interconnectedness is the core message or teaching of all prophets, so I choose to see and appreciate that commonality rather than debate any scripture or religious path. An acknowledgment of our Interbeing and faith in the same can lead to profound love and a reverence for life.

Why can't that one message be the basis of how we interact, and also be the basis - though, granted, not the totality -- of one's religious faith?

Those drawn to various religions can still be guided by their chosen prophet and sacred text and embrace that as their truth, one which brings them comfort, strength, connection and other positive experiences. (Edit to add:  I use the word "chosen" prophet, as I feel it is a choice to follow a specific religious path, or not; I respect that many people feel they were chosen to follow a path, rather than the other way around, and I don't intend my use of the word "choice" repeatedly to be offensive in any way.)

The one seemingly simple, straightforward universal truth or reality of our interconnectedness and Interbeing doesn't negate nor diminish any religious path in my opinion.

When one's chosen religious path nurtures a GENUINE feeling of harmony, and an appreciation and love of other people...all people, including those of other faiths and belief systems, as well as agnostics and atheists...rather than separation and disconnection and feelings of superiority, isn't that a very good thing?

When someone's choice not to embrace a religious path nurtures, for them, a genuine feeling of unity, appreciation, respect and love of Humanity...without a sense of superiority...isn't that a very good thing?

I think so. And I would love to see more of this particular manifestation of GOOD.

As I see it, no book is a comprehensive handbook with CLEAR instructions for every situation, for every time period, for every culture, for every human being; if there were, surely it would contain step-by-step instructions for parenthood (haven't all parents wished there were a manual with clear, practical instructions for every situation, for every child, not subject to misinterpretation?).

There is guidance to be found in many writings, including sacred writings, though it's often subjective based on our individual experience and culture. It's still up to us to put any wisdom we glean into practice each day.

Therefore, in my most humble opinion, we need to cultivate and explore our inner wisdom and develop stronger intuition in order to do that. If religious sacred text and a reverence for the same is how someone gets develops a stronger connection to their inner wisdom and intuition, and strengthens and deepens relationships (physical and metaphysical), I think that's wonderful -- even admirable -- so long as the heart and discernment are engaged in a meaningful way.

I do realize a declaration to follow a chosen religion, prophet and scripture is how many believe they will be saved in the afterlife, and thus they worry about loved ones, or perhaps even strangers, not joining them. I don't know what to say about that other than we all believe different things about life and afterlife. No one really knows for sure how this all works and with the ability to prove to all others, beyond a shadow of a doubt, what they believe regarding how this all works.

We can choose to believe, with a fervor and loyalty and reverence and indeed a strong sense of knowing, but we don't really know...not for everyone else. I do feel strongly that when we know ourselves, and I mean truly Know Who We Are at each phase of our journey, we can recognize that something is true for us; conversely, when we really know ourselves, we recognize when something is not true for us or doesn't resonate in a deep, meaningful way. I've never understood how anyone can say that the truths they believe -- intangible, metaphysical, spiritual truths -- are true for others, especially when our own individual truths/beliefs/knowings often shift throughout our lives and also given our current limitations in awareness. What we can "see" and prove has evolved throughout the course of Humanity's history. Our awareness evolves.

I personally believe there is more integrity and wisdom in the asking of questions, accepting humility in the face of Being Human and all that entails, than in the intransigent, unyielding, authoritative voices of those who profess to know THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH.

Having never been religious though do consider myself spiritual, I've been told by a few people close to me that my views about religion are offensive, in that I don't accept any one sacred text as The Absolute Truth. I've never intended that to mean that I feel those who do embrace one path and one sacred text as their truth are "less than" in any way; it's simply that I don't fully understand it, because it's not something that has ever felt right for me. (That said, no doubt I have made snarky or even hurtful comments at some point in my life when I have perceived religious persons or groups as being hypocritical and causing harm as a result of their beliefs.) What I have a problem with is when religion is imposed upon others, or when it is used to imply or overtly say that anyone who doesn't believe the same is inferior or less than in some way. That is a subtle form of harm and "othering" -- a feeling of disconnection and isolation as a result of feeling judged as inferior in some way -- though we also know the tragic examples of religion being manipulated in horrible ways to inflict overt harm and destruction throughout our history.

Is anything I wrote above offensive to anyone, religious or otherwise? Granted, I realize some who are extremely devout may take pity on me, feeling I am lacking as a human being in some way or that I am lost. In truth, I don't feel lost…no more than anyone else, if they're being honest with themselves. I tend to feel we're all lost and broken to various degrees. For the most part as I look back on my life, I do feel rather whole and integrated concerning my spirituality, always striving to remain open and mindful, learning as I walk this path of Being Human. I have, however, most definitely experienced cycles of a dark night of the soul and a crisis of faith.

When I use the word faith I mean faith in humanity, faith in myself and, most importantly, faith in our shared connection to a transcendent, cohesive force beyond our current realm of comprehension; a force or energy that, as yet, cannot be described or explained. While my faith in Humanity and myself may waiver, my belief in a transcendent force I interchangeably call God or Spirit never has. I cannot prove the existence of how I perceive this energy that I shall call Spirit or God, and that is precisely why I say I have faith in its existence. I don't ridicule or condemn anyone who doesn't share that belief. It is my personal choice to have faith, and I respect the choice of others to not believe, because the existence of Spirit cannot (as yet) be proven in an absolute way.

Rather than tout a knowing of an Absolute Truth, it's more accurate to say that I believe in the Absolute Truth of our interconnectedness, with a "higher" unseen energy residing within us and all around us, providing the glue for our interconnectedness. (Both Tinker Bell ["Clap if you believe!"] and Star Wars ["May the force be with you"] just came to mind...lol.)

Alternately, some may condemn my way of seeing things and of being in this world, or doubt my faith and spirituality and individual journey. That has only happened once in my life, fairly recently. I found the questioning and lack of respect for my own faith much more hurtful than someone pitying or even condemning me. Considering that religious persons may have felt judged and questioned and condemned by me in the past, I can empathize with that hurt. That was never my intention, and even though I put a lot of effort into being mindful of my intentions and how conveying them may be perceived, I can't control how others interpret what I say or do. But the thought that I may have caused others that particular pain makes me pause and is another reason for writing this, to offer an apology.

Finally, with all that said, I now have a question:

Is a belief that all life is connected -- our Interbeing -- a fringe belief or do you also embrace this belief, regardless of your religious or spiritual faith or lack thereof?

I'd love to hear your thoughts and feelings about what I have written, so please feel free to comment. Thanks for reading.


~ Dena

EDIT TO ADD:  I would love to collaborate with the faith communities in my work at Our Good If anyone reading is interested in collaboration, please contact me.  :)







PRACTICAL COMPASSION | Sharing thoughts, ideas, and visions of a more meaningful, compassionate, collaborative, joy-filled world.